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  #911  
Old 06-18-2018, 01:43 AM
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the_narrow_way the_narrow_way is offline
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So sorry. I'd offer you some advice if I had any, but I'm a wreck when I lose animals and I never get totally over the loss.
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  #912  
Old 06-18-2018, 06:54 AM
Flycoon Flycoon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bolthed View Post
Had to put down my 20-year-old cat last night. Other than being really old and increasingly whiny and needy, she really seemed fine until sometime today I think she had a stroke. When my family got home from Fathers Day at the zoo, there was obviously something major wrong. So at least it wasn't an intensely difficult decision. But I'm grieving hard and feeling raw from the sudden loss of a best friend who was with me, literally next to me, for almost every single day since the summer of 1998. One thing I can tell y'all is not to go on Twitter when you're feeling this way! I don't really know what to do, because my cat was always a big comfort in times like this. Anyone have some wisdom to share about losing a human or furry loved one?
No words of advice, just a bit of consolation. I get it.

We have 5 cats; the oldest are 17 and 16 both adopted from Gainesville Pet Rescue when my daughter volunteered there while at UF. Neither are ill now, but are both getting thinner and struggle with stairs, jumping, and seem to get lost in the house at times. They have always been social but in their dotage have come to love the grandkids who are two and four; they come looking for them when they hear them come in (and someone is always crying, shocking).

What people don’t get is we have been together for their entire lives. Every day they are with us and give us the unconditional love our two leggeds rarely do. They don’t have agendas.

We’re going on vacation to the UK in a few weeks and one of my two old guys having a demise similar to yours when I’m not here is my biggest concern. More so than my 92yo father or 87yo mother in law; just being honest.

I feel your pain my friend.

Last edited by Flycoon; 06-18-2018 at 06:57 AM.
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  #913  
Old 06-18-2018, 07:07 AM
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Get out and find a new furry friend. Visit the shelters and you will find another that will become close to you.

The day after Irma hit my daughter had a small kitten come up to her while she and a few friends were cooking out as they had lost power in St. Augustine. They heard meowing and a little kitten came out of a wooded area and took to her. She took her home and had to bath her 2 times to rid her of fleas.

Today they are inseparable.
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  #914  
Old 06-18-2018, 08:06 AM
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I'd be a wreck if I lost my puppy dog
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  #915  
Old 06-18-2018, 08:09 AM
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Thanks, y'all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flycoon View Post
Neither are ill now, but are both getting thinner and struggle with stairs, jumping, and seem to get lost in the house at times. They have always been social but in their dotage have come to love the grandkids who are two and four; they come looking for them when they hear them come in (and someone is always crying, shocking).
Feline dementia/Alzheimer's/cognitive decline is definitely a real thing that happens at such an advanced age. Last night was really hard, but I woke up feeling decent. My cat had good genes. Her dad lived 20 years and her mom died at 22. So my cat had a good run. My wife loved her (even the cat would sleep on her pillow the first few years). My kids are very young, too young to understand, but at least they learned how to pet her. It's funny. I knew her time was short, I even hoped for this when she was really difficult and/or annoying. But there is no way to truly brace yourself for death. Even when a loved one is very sick or very old, they're still there ... until one day they're gone.

Thanks for listening.
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  #916  
Old 06-18-2018, 08:15 AM
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Cats are funny. When my wife had cancer and lost her hair from the chemo treatment Frostie would curl up on her head after she went to sleep every night. When the hair came back she returned to the foot of the bed.
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  #917  
Old 06-18-2018, 10:48 AM
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I had a Lhasa Apso/Shih Tzu mix, that we had bought for my daughter 20 years ago, but she became my wife's dog eventually, because she would feed him scraps from the dinner table over my objections. That dog was so protective of her, he was like another son in the family to her.

When my wife died in 2012 from cancer, he was lost, searching the house high and low looking for her, for days. Same thing, if I took him to my M-I-L's house, he must have still picked up her scent.

Over the years, he became blind and deaf. I would let him out in the backyard to do his business, he would go about 10 feet then come back. Sometimes, he walked past the house by accident and I would find him in the front yard. One day, I let him out as usual, got distracted, then looked for him and couldn't find him. I went to the front of the house, no luck. I went to the backyard again to the very end, 75 feet away, and found him floating in the creek behind the house. I jumped in the water, pulled him out, wrapped him in a blanket and jumped in the car and rushed 5 minutes to the vet. They tried to intubate him to clear his lungs, but it was too late.

I grieved and felt for a long time that I let down my wife by not taking care of him. Others pointed out that he lived till 17 and had "decided" to cross the rainbow bridge to be with my wife. Didn't lessen the impact of how he died, and I have yet to replace him. I decided to have his remains cremated and buried next to my wife's tombstone so he would be close to her again.

The only advice, Bolthed, is that it does get better over time. You never forget the memories, but you know you did all you could to take care of them while they were with you.
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  #918  
Old 06-18-2018, 07:52 PM
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Some consolation from me and some observations (random) that helped me over the years.

It takes a long time to process this stuff. Don't be afraid to express your emotions, don't think that the only emotion you feel should be sadness, all emotions (peacefulness, happiness, anger, etc) are part of the process. Share your feelings with others.


When I talk about losing my son 26 years ago, I still get choked up and start blubbering. My youngest just graduated college and I'm tearing up wishing my parents were here. I still think about the household pets I had growing up.

One really never gets over these things, they just become part of who and what we are.
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  #919  
Old 06-18-2018, 07:57 PM
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I think the pain you feel from loss is awful, but it eventually turns into a scar. Scars are good. They mean you've lived.
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  #920  
Old 06-19-2018, 09:26 AM
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Thank you all. This is a helluva community. I'm grateful.
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