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Old 01-31-2008, 11:44 AM
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Default Dictionary

Anyone have that old messageboard dictionary we had on HF years ago?
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Old 01-31-2008, 11:53 AM
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Originally Posted by chad View Post
Anyone have that old messageboard dictionary we had on HF years ago?
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Old 01-31-2008, 06:02 PM
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Wow. I can't believe that survived the multiple meltdowns of HF lol.
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Old 01-31-2008, 07:20 PM
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I was just going through some of my Favoites links the other day, and found the 'dictionary'. So much good stuff.
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Old 02-01-2008, 05:04 AM
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Cheeto-encrusted thumb: What Lightning GM Jay Feaster (aka Cheeto Jay) sits on when he should be working to improve the team. --Petec1978
HaHa! Proof that I didn't even come up with it.
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Old 02-01-2008, 11:18 AM
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Now that's good stuff.
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Old 02-02-2008, 12:55 AM
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There are all kinds of things you can add to it now... Pro$pal, Captain Wraparound, Fat Feaster, pimp hand, Johnny Highglove...
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Old 02-02-2008, 01:07 PM
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... Tar-nasty, Hungy-Hungry Hippo (though Grahame is gone), Johnny Shortside + Johanny Shortside...

Time for a new dictionary... or a slightly edited and/or larger version.
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Old 02-03-2008, 02:42 PM
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Default Bolts BB Glossary v3.0

Howdy, newbies and visitors ...

For your edification we offer the new and improved, completely updated, often imitated, never duplicated, all-inclusive ...

Tampa Bay Lightning Bulletin Board Glossary
(May contain nuts)

:E "Smiley" used to indicate Eric Perrin (aka "Snaggle"). --Bolthed

Balls as big as a house: Refers to Dudley's description of 3rd round pick Alex Kharitonov (aka Alex Kharit-on/off) and his uncommon willingness to play in traffic despite being a small guy. If he meant a monopoly house, he was right. --Oceanic39

Bill the Cat: When the cameras zoom in on Nik Khabibulin's signature facial tics, it's often said they "caught him in full Bill the Cat." --joeminus

Blacksheep Line: The Roy/Svitov/Keefe preseason line of 2002-'03. --Petec1978

The Bulin Wall: Nik Khabibulin ... duh.

Captain Poke Check: Lightning associate coach Craig Ramsay, who preaches a, ahem, less-than-physical style of defense. --Bolthed

Captain Wraparound: Lightning captain Tim Taylor, who perennially leads the league in wraparound attempts (and failures).

Cheeto-encrusted thumb: What Lightning GM Jay Feaster (aka Cheeto Jay) sits on when he should be working to improve the team. --Petec1978

CPR Line: The surprisingly productive Clymer-Prospal-Richards line used after the All-Star break in 2001-'02 when Modin and St. Louis were injured.

The Constrictor: Lightning tough-guy Chris Dingman, whose "fights" invariably turn into hug-fests.

Dimensional Speed: Refers to fast players from the Dudley era, such as Jimmie Olvestad and/or Brian Holzinger. They're not fast, they have "dimensional speed." --Oceanic39

Dirt Line: The Lightning checking line composed of Tim Taylor and Dave Andreychuk, usually with Chris Dingman. So named because they're "older than dirt, and slower than dirt." --Oceanic39

Dmitry Afghanistan: On-air blooper by former Bolt centerman Brian Bradley when referring to current Bolt winger Dmitry Afanasenkov during a Tampa-Montreal playoff series pre-game show. --exterminator-x

Dollar Bill: The older-than-Lord Stanley owner of the Tampa Bay Lightning, Bill Davidson. An object of great scorn, a particularly sore spot for Bolts fans since he generally ignores his team or makes disparaging remarks about the city of Tampa from his castle in Detroit. Also owns the NBA Pistons. --Bolthed

Fairy: Former Lightning winger Mike Johnson. --Petec1978

Fear Dan Boyle: What happens to hapless opponents when Danny Boy gets on the scoresheet. --Petec1978

Fishwrap Forum: The St. Pete Times Forum, formerly known as the Ice Palace. Some fans still refer to the building as the Palace. --Bolthed

Fonzie: Coach John Tortorella. Just look at his face. --Bolthed

FSU Line: It stands for Former Soviet Union; the Fedotenko/Svitov/Alexeev line of 2002-'03. --Petec1978

Going Jack Todd: (or "to pull a Jack Todd"); shirking one's defensive responsibilities, just as the obnoxious, elitist Montreal Gazette "journalist" (and we use the term very loosely) avoided his military duty. --Petecl1978

HFL: It stands for Hershey Foods Lawyer; GM Jay Feaster (See also: orange Cheeto crumb encrusted thumb) --Petec1978

Human Nerf Dart: Former Lightning forward Ryan Johnson, who launched himself at opponents and bounced right off. --Petec1978

Hungry Hungry Hippo: Refers to Lightning netminder John Grahame's singular (and not particularly effective) style of attempting to gobble up pucks in his crease.

Johnny Shortside: Nickname for Lightning goalie John Grahame, who had a nasty habit of getting beat inside the near post.

Johanny Shortside: Nickname for Lightning goalie Johan Holmqvist, whose run of softies looked eerily familiar (see "Johnny Shortside").

JV board: The official Lighting BB, where youngsters and mental midgets gather to flaunt their lack of hockey insight.

K-Wey: An unmentionable hockey fan/know-it-all who claims to root for about 15 of his favorite adopted NHL teams since there is no real hockey in Iowa. Don't get too close, but do pity the San Jose fans who must put up with him. Example of how his name can be used in a sentence: Go A-wey! --Bolthed

Keefamania: What happens when Sheldon Keefe's legions of unstoppable fans, growing by the day, take to the streets and break stuff in honor of their feisty little hero. Still waiting for it to run amok in any pro playoff series. --Petec1978

Kick 'Em Dog: Someone who follows a poster around the Internet nitpicking their posts --Petec1978

Leisure Vest: Former Lightning coach Steve Ludzik.

LightningNation: Referring to a sect of less knowledgable Lightning fans once known mainly for booing Pavel Kubina every time he touched the puck. --Bolthed

Lost Parents: Mentally challenged poster originally known as The Wall and then as Los Pared ("The Wall" in broken Spanish).

Luongominiums: What Panthers goaltender Roberto Luongo wears on his legs. --Bolthed (inspired by Brad Richards)

Littley Ricky: Former Lightning GM Rick Dudley, who was fired. --Petec1978

MO-DOMETER (tm): Instrument that displays Freddy Modin's current goal total. --Petec1978

MRS Line: The Modin/Richards/St. Louis scoring line (aka "Torts' binky").

MRS v2.0: The Modin/Richards/Stillman scoring line. Also known as the "Second Wife Line."

MSL: Shorthand for Martin St. Louis.

MVP Line: The Marty/Vinny/Prospal line that punked the Caps in the 2002-'03 playoffs.

Old-Skool Assassin: Lightning captain Dave Andreychuk. --Petec1978

Pay Windah: The act of winning (see Rhodes, Dusty). --Petec1978

The Penny Lanes: Refers to a community of Vermont Catamont groupies that wistfully long for the day when Martin St. Louis and Eric Perrin will be re-united on a Tampa Bay Lightning scoring line. If that day ever comes, the Penny Lanes will be ecstatically huddled around their TVs in their PJ's with a box of Kleenex (tm), chocolates, and ice cream, giggling and laughing and crying as their long-awaited sappy, sentimental, made-for-TV reunion unfolds before their eyes. --exterminator-x

Pokemon Dudley: What Li'l Ricky does with his "assets" (players and picks): trades them ... often. Duds will never be satisfied until his has a complete set of Russians (including Pikachuvanov). "Gotta catch 'em all!"

Popcorn server: The press-box duty of a healthy scratch. --Oceanic39

The Prince: Vincent Lecavalier aka "Prince Vince." Sometimes used disparagingly but this nickname was originally applied when young Vinny was tearing up the Q in Junior hockey, thus earning the prestigious moniker inferring his future cornation as an NHL superstar. --Bolthed

Pro$pal: A reference to Vaclav Prospal's uncanny ability to score tons of points during a contract year.

Radio puppet (aka Lapdog): Sports radio host Steve Duemig, who toes the company line without ever questioning it. --Petec1978

Rimouski Bros.: Lecavalier and Richards. Refers to their previous incarnation as linemates for L'Oceanic in the QMJHL. Will they ever be reunited? --Bolthed

R2: Lightning prospect Evgeny Artukhin.

Shady 80: Former Bolts goaltender Kevin Weekes.

Smirky: Lightning defenseman Brad Lukowich. Just look at his face. --Bolthed

Snoozin' Zyuzin (aka Suddenly Susan): Former Lightning defenseman Andrei Zyuzin --Hoek

S.O.B.: Lightning defenseman Shane O'Brien, who's a mean one.

Stanislob (or "Slobby," or just "The Slob"): Nickname for Stanislav Neckar (that's NETS-cash), used when he creates messes in the defensive zone.

STL: Shorthand for Martin St. Louis.

Swedish Battle Tank: Fredrik Modin, POWER forward. Check your local listings and look out for that cannon! --Petec1978

Sybil: Originally Bolt92 and fondly recalled by his "fans" as Dolt92, most recently known as The Atomic Punk. Has more aliases than a Jennifer Garner stalker. --Bolthed

Tar-nasty: Lightning forward/bull-in-china-shop Nick Tarnasky, who will take your lunch money.

Torts' binky: (i.e. security blanket) The tried-and-true Modin-Richards-St. Louis line. --Petecl1978

Vaclav Prospal Survivalists: Similar to millennium survivalists who horded food, water, and gasoline in their militia-esque compounds, VP Survivalists believe the world will end because the Lightning allowed Vaclav Prospal to go to Anaheim via free agency. --Petec1978

Vinnie: Shorthand used by some for Vincent Lecavalier to differentiate from "Vinny" Prospal.

Vinny: Shorthand used by some for Vaclav Prospal to differentiate from Vincent Lecavalier ("Vinnie").

XO Sniper: Infamous shadowy figure best known for making an attempt on Gary Roberts' life, subsequently drawing a tripping penalty against the Lightning when Roberts went down "like he was shot from the XO Club." (Quote from John Tortorella)

Yoda: Former Lightning defenseman Grant Ledyard, known for his crusty wisdom and vocal leadership. The old man could skate some nights, others he just didn't have it. Future AHL coach or assistant perhaps? --Petec1978
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Old 02-03-2008, 03:30 PM
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My favorite after all these years is the XO Sniper. Still gives me a chuckle every single time I read the description, and I've never looked at Gary Roberts the same way since...
...For a minute there, I lost myself... I'd rather walk alone.
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