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BREAKING: Not Only is Bigfoot Real...

... he's a Lightning fan. And been one longer than most B's fans have liked the yellow and black, according to the Boston Globe.

(Thanks to ChaseSpace from our glorious messageboards for this photo of Bigfoot/Boltfoot/Mike Smith.)

Bruins Organization Stays Classy

Nevermind the fact the Lightning beat the Bruins in attendance 5 out of the last 8 seasons. Nevermind the fact the attendance spread was less than 300 per game between the two teams this year (yes, yes, we know the Bruins play their games in a shoebox that doesn't seat nearly as many people as the Forum). Nevermind the fact tickets for Game 3, Game 4, and Game 6 in Tampa sold out in minutes today. Congratulations to the Bruins marketing department for racing head long into the gutter by playing the elitist Northern hockey fan card, thereby reducing a proud Original Six franchise to the level of a third rate sports radio lunkhead trying to drum up ratings by appealing to the lowest common denominator.

No wonder Phil Esposito doesn't give a damn about Boston anymore. And remember, his sandwich has capicola on it, dirtbags, because he's the best.

It's on, now.

Time For the NHL to Find a New Poster Child

I realize the NHL has spent a lot of time and money in marketing Alexander Ovechkin as the Russian Magic Johnson to Sidney Crosby's Larry Bird. I also realize that Ovechkin is one of the 2 or 3 purest goal scorers in the NHL today, right along side the likes of the Lightning's own Steven Stamkos and the enigmatic Ilya Kovalchuk of the Devils. However, what I hope the Lightning's sweep of the Capitals proves to the hockey world, and whatever Madison Avenue agency is driving the NHL's marketing strategy, is that you cannot build one half of a league's marketing strategy around a player who simply does not play the game the right way and therefore cannot lead his team anywhere near a championship.

There's a lot that's been said about Ovechkin's "passion" for hockey and his "passion" for scoring goals. Is it a "passion" for hockey? Or is it a "passion" for drawing attention to Alexander Ovechkin? Is it a "passion" for scoring goals that causes this young man to disrespectfully show up his opponents every time he scores? Remember the hot stick? First off, let me say, I savor the fact that some of our guys like Martin St. Louis and Ryan Malone were able to issue a check for payback, in full, for that disgusting act from just a little over 2 years ago. But let me also say, how asinine is it that a league builds half of its entire marketing strategy around a player who cares more about individual scoring accolades in the regular season, as shown by that stupid, choreographed routine in 2009, than he does about winning a championship?

Bob Errey Needs to Be Unemployed

You know, living out of town, I haven't had the opportunity to see Rick Peckham and Bobby Taylor's broadcasts of the Penguins series. Now, as anyone who has read my game posts knows, I do enjoy the occasional meta-critique of the other team's announcers any time I get their feed on Center Ice. In particular, folks know how I feel about Atlanta color man Darren Eliot, the Carolina crew of Forslund and Tracy, and some of the members of the Buffalo Sabre's broadcast team (not Rick Jeanneret, but on-ice reporter Rob Ray and studio personality Mike Robitaille). But, as this is the playoffs, I didn't want to detract from what was going on by chastising the media. As John Tortorella said in the Flyers series in 2004 when Ken Hitchcock tried to goad him into a media spat by making an off-color remark about Tortorella's heritage, it's not about anyone off the ice. It's about the athletes.

However, now that the series is over, I can stop biting my tongue about Penguins color-man Bob Errey. I would've never thought that anyone could supplant the uber-pompous Darren Eliot on the Mount Olympus of NHL broadcasters I can't stand, but after having to watch the Pittsburgh Root Sports broadcasts for 6 of the games in this series, I can now say Bob Errey is now the uncontested champ. I have never in my life heard a broadcaster who was so thoroughly unobjective, so thoroughly disrespectful to the opposing team, and so thoroughly nonsensical about it. I made the decision as the series progressed that play-by-play man Paul Steigerwald probably isn't that bad. He has a level of bias, but I suspect with a normal color man beside him he wouldn't be any worse than the average NHL broadcaster. But Errey? How can Root Sports pay a man this unprofessional?

In general, there was the unqualified praise of Penguins players, the constant whining about officiating going against the Penguins (tell that to Marty St. Louis' front teeth), and the portrayal of Lightning players as heartless, talentless, brainless clods. That was bad enough. When a Penguins player would put his arm down on a Lightning player's stick to induce a hooking call, that would be "savvy." When a Lightning player would do the exact same thing 5 minutes later, suddenly it would be a gross miscarriage of justice perpetrated by those devious, dirty, shifty Lightning players (who 10 minutes later would be reclassified as heartless morons). Fine. That's annoying, but that's not any worse than Eliot, Forslund, or Tracy. Heck, at least the Pens have won something. One of the central parts of my critique of Eliot has been the undeserved sense of entitlement he and the Thrashers organization operates with given the fact they have a whopping 0 playoff wins in their franchise's entire history. The one solace I had after Game 4 of this series was that even if the Lightning lost Game 5, they still would've had more playoff wins in ignominious defeat than the Trashers have had... ever. But, I digress.

No, what elevated Errey to his perch atop the landfill of NHL broadcasters can be summarized by three instances from this series:

Tokarski Was Lucky

Norfolk goaltender Dustin Tokarski was pulled from the Admirals' game against the Hershey Bears on Saturday after being cut on he neck by a skate blade. When you hear a goalie getting cut by a skate blade you immediately think of the Sabres' Clint Malarchuk vs. the St. Louis Blues years ago.

Tokarski was a lot luckier than Malarchuk Saturday as he "only" required nearly 30 stitches to close the wound.

Tokarski's teammate and fellow Lightning prospect Stefano Giliati posted a picture of Tokarski's gash on Twitter Tuesday morning, which Giliati referred to as "badass."

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